Fear of Failure: How to Overcome it and not be Afraid
Introduction
As a child, I remember being afraid of failure. It was a fear that stayed with me well into adulthood, but eventually, I learned how to overcome it. As an adult, I still get scared when faced with new challenges or big projects that require me to step outside my comfort zone. But now that I have overcome my fear of failure (and believe me, there are days where it’s still hard), here’s what works for me:
Acknowledge your fear.
Recognizing and accepting your fear is the first step to overcoming it. The next time you’re afraid of failing, instead of trying to avoid or ignore that fear, acknowledge it. Think about what makes you nervous about being a failure: maybe it’s an assignment at work or school; maybe it’s a performance review; maybe it’s even something as simple as trying out for a dance team when you’re not sure how well you can do. Whatever the reason, take some time to think through why this situation might make you feel like a failure—and then let go of those thoughts!
Once we acknowledge our fears and accept them as normal parts of life rather than things to be avoided at all costs, we can begin taking steps toward overcoming them.
Determine why you’re afraid.
It’s important to understand the root of your fear. Understanding the cause of your fear will help you overcome it. You can’t overcome fear if you don’t know what it is, or why you are afraid.
Think about how to minimize the pain.
- If you fail, think about how to minimize the pain.
- You can learn from your mistake and try again.
- You can do something different next time.
Realize you’ll survive.
Second, don’t confuse fear of failure with fear of the unknown. Fear of failure means that you are afraid of failing at something specific and tangible—a test, a report or presentation due at work, an audition for a play or singing competition, meeting someone new for the first time. If this is your problem (and if it isn’t yours then this article probably isn’t for you), then try changing your mindset from “I hope I don’t fail! Because then I would be so embarrassed! And everyone would think badly of me! And my life would be ruined forever! Oh no!!! Too late now! Just see how far away from me he can move without looking back…”
Instead try thinking: “I will learn something new today no matter what happens—even if it’s just one small thing like ‘it turns out I’m really good at making lists.’ Whether my presentation goes well or poorly doesn’t matter as long as I was honest with myself about what my goals were going into this situation (be honest!) and have done everything within my power to prepare myself adequately beforehand.”
Put things into perspective.
Before taking any risks, it’s important to understand what’s at stake and how you can overcome failure.
Consider the risks and rewards:
- If you fail, you can try again. You don’t have to give up or feel like a complete failure if something doesn’t go your way—you just need to learn from your mistakes and try again!
- If you succeed, you’ll be happy. When we take risks that lead us somewhere positive in life, our happiness increases dramatically as well.
Be honest with yourself.
When you’re trying to figure out how to overcome the fear of failure and not be afraid, it can be helpful to take a step back and look at your life. Ask yourself the following questions:
- What do I want?
- How am I going to get there?
- What are my strengths and weaknesses?
How honest are you being with yourself when answering these questions? Don’t be afraid to admit your mistakes—you may feel like you should always know what’s best for yourself, but in reality, no one knows better than yourself! It also helps to ask other people for input on this matter; ask friends who have had similar experiences or consult experts in the field (if applicable). Once you have a clearer idea of where exactly you stand right now, start figuring out ways that will help overcome any obstacles standing between where you currently are and where it is that want ultimately end up being as far as achieving your goals.
If you are afraid of failing, then stop worrying about what others will think about you if or when you fail.
You are the only one who can judge you. It’s easy to feel like everyone is looking at us, judging us and thinking about how we’ve let them down, but no one is thinking about those things—they’re all too busy worrying that they’re failing themselves. If you are afraid of failing, then stop worrying about what others will think about you if or when you fail. You don’t need to impress anyone else in order for your life to be meaningful; however, if someone cares enough about you to be worried that failure could change their opinion of you then maybe the relationship isn’t working out anyway!
No matter how much education or experience we have under our belts, there will always be someone who thinks we should know more than we do and doesn’t appreciate our efforts as much as they do another’s efforts. Don’t waste any time trying to win over these people; focus on doing well by yourself instead so that it doesn’t matter what others think anyway!
Tell yourself, “It’s OK to fail.”
It’s okay to fail. You can learn from failure, and even if you don’t learn anything, it’s not the end of the world.
That might sound harsh, but it’s true: failure is a part of life. Everyone fails at some point or another, whether it’s failing an exam or missing a deadline at work. There are even people who have failed so spectacularly that their failures have become successes (see: Steve Jobs). So what do all these failures mean? In short: nothing much at all!
There is no shame in failing—the only shame would be if we let ourselves be paralyzed by fear of failure into never trying something new in the first place! The only way we can avoid failure is by avoiding risk altogether; however this means that we also avoid success too!
Don’t try to be perfect all the time.
- Don’t worry about what other people think of you.
- Don’t worry about what you think of yourself.
- Don’t worry about what other people think of other people.
- And don’t worry about anything else, either!
Focus on yourself and your work, not others.
When you focus on yourself and your work, not what others are doing, or worrying about what they think of you or your work, it takes the pressure off. You can put all of your energy into what is important to you and achieve great things.
Failure is a part of life and we can learn from it
Failure is a part of life and we can learn from it. We don’t have to be afraid of failure because it’s not the end of the world, but rather, a learning opportunity. One useful way to look at your failures is by seeing them as lessons learned. If you don’t make mistakes, then you’ll never get better at doing anything! If someone else has failed at something and that knowledge helps you succeed in whatever it is that you’re trying to do, then their experience has been useful for both parties involved.
If there ever comes a time when I’m too afraid or nervous to try something new because I might fail, I remind myself that failing doesn’t mean the end; instead, it’s just another chapter in our lives—and one that helps us grow as individuals and overcome the fear of failure!
Conclusion
The key to getting over this fear of failure is learning how to be honest with yourself. You need to recognize that you are afraid of failing and then use these tips to overcome it. If you want more information on how to overcome your fears, check out our other blog posts on the subject here: https://www.universityoflife.com/blog-posts/overcome-fear/.
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